Gifts
As I'm wrapping Christmas gifts and filling out name tags, I write Tiffany's name out, slowly and just look at it and think of how different this Christmas could of been. Why do I keep going there? She is with us and that should be the furtherest thing from my mind, yet it plagues me almost everyday, the fact that I can text her, talk to her, hug her.call her, email her and just BE with her is amazing to me everyday and causes me to continuely thank God for those simple pleasures.
I think that as each Holiday passes and the further we get away from the tragedy the easier it will be, but there are no guarantees. It is a process and everyone goes through it differently. It has been 9 months, why is it that something so small as a picture or a song can send me crashing into tears? I think that a mother's love goes deeper than it is possible to explain. There is something inside of me that just aches for my girls and never wants them to hurt.
Everyday, Tiffany is hurting and yet she just carries on. Everyday she has to deal with headaches, chest pain, numb leg, foggy brain, feeling confused and yet she carries on. She doesn't get mad, she doesn't shake her fist at God, she has excepted that this is her life. I pray daily for her that she will stop hurting and yet this is the thorn that God has given her to bear at this time. As a mom I want to bear it, I want to take it away but it's not for me to do.
God may heal her completely someday or not. But in everything we will praise His name and find Joy in the small things. We have learned that these last 9 months. You can not get through or go through something like this without being changed. It has changed our entire family. We have always known that life is fragile we were just reminded of that in a very vivid way. This life is temporary and these bodies are not our eternal home. We have to keep that in mind and remember we are just passing through.
When I think of my daughters I have to say I am the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. Candice has been there for not only her sister but for me as well. She has never once been upset that Tiffany gets all this attention. She knows she is loved and I am just so proud of her. Both Tiffany and Candice have made it easy to be a mom, sometimes I wish I could go back to when they were little and just treasure my moments with them more, the time has passed so quickly.
This Christmas may we turn our attention to the true meaning of Christmas and remember why we celebrate. Lets make sure we treasure our time with our loved ones, before it's to late.
I think that as each Holiday passes and the further we get away from the tragedy the easier it will be, but there are no guarantees. It is a process and everyone goes through it differently. It has been 9 months, why is it that something so small as a picture or a song can send me crashing into tears? I think that a mother's love goes deeper than it is possible to explain. There is something inside of me that just aches for my girls and never wants them to hurt.
Everyday, Tiffany is hurting and yet she just carries on. Everyday she has to deal with headaches, chest pain, numb leg, foggy brain, feeling confused and yet she carries on. She doesn't get mad, she doesn't shake her fist at God, she has excepted that this is her life. I pray daily for her that she will stop hurting and yet this is the thorn that God has given her to bear at this time. As a mom I want to bear it, I want to take it away but it's not for me to do.
God may heal her completely someday or not. But in everything we will praise His name and find Joy in the small things. We have learned that these last 9 months. You can not get through or go through something like this without being changed. It has changed our entire family. We have always known that life is fragile we were just reminded of that in a very vivid way. This life is temporary and these bodies are not our eternal home. We have to keep that in mind and remember we are just passing through.
When I think of my daughters I have to say I am the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. Candice has been there for not only her sister but for me as well. She has never once been upset that Tiffany gets all this attention. She knows she is loved and I am just so proud of her. Both Tiffany and Candice have made it easy to be a mom, sometimes I wish I could go back to when they were little and just treasure my moments with them more, the time has passed so quickly.
This Christmas may we turn our attention to the true meaning of Christmas and remember why we celebrate. Lets make sure we treasure our time with our loved ones, before it's to late.
your words brought me to tears...thank you for writing this, and thank you for being such a wonderful, Godly example of being a mother. may God bless you all this Christmas and New year!!!
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