Pondering

Wonder why it is that as we get older we lose sight sometimes of WHO God is and WHO we are in Christ?  I remember when I was home raising our daughters and my husband was at work, I felt like I had purpose, I had a goal, a reason for getting up in the morning and spending time with Christ before the girls were up, exercising, making breakfast but as I have gotten older and the girls are grown and raising their own families I feel adrift a little detached.  I know it is not what God would have or want of His "Older Children" but I fear I have fallen into that "Old Person" trap of feeling not that important. 
As I think on this and as I write it is helping me to come to grips with the reality that I AM getting older and I can feel useless or I can BE OF USE.  As I look back on my life as a mom of two very beautiful girls I feel so very blessed, so very blessed that I was able to be at home and to have valuable input into their everyday lives, from praying with them and yes of course to disciplining them.  Wasn't always easy and I am FAR from the perfect mom (just ask them) but I was ALWAYS honest with them and when I would blow it I would appologize to them.  Their little feelings meant everything to me, but I wasn't always the most patient mom.  I had 22 years of OLD habits that I was breaking with Christ help.  Being a new Christian and a mom of a 2yr old and pregnant with our 2nd wasn't always easy but it was during that time that I felt the closest to God.  SO WHAT HAPPENED???  I am going to be completely honest here what happened is I fell into the "OLD Person" trap.  I started believing the lies being told to me by satan that I have no value or nothing to offer.  I am still feeling that way but am striving to counter those lies with God's truth.  I feel like it is going to be a LONG road back home again, but I know I will get there soon and as my daugther's write in their blogs, each of us have a story and each of us go through different things in our lives and then God uses those things to help other's.  I PRAY that I can be used of God.

Comments

  1. Kramer FamilyAugust 22, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    You are being used by God! You may not be raising Tiff and I anymore but now you are an example to our kids, your grandkids! :) they are
    Looking up to you as their Nana. They see God in you and it helps them as they are learning more about our Savior. Satan is powerful but our Lord and Savior is even more powerful. Love you lots and never for once allow Satan to tell u lies that you don't have a purpose anymore because you have such a great purpose! :) love ya!!!

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  2. EmilyAugust 22, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    I COMPLETELY agree with Candice!!!! You did an AMAZING job of raising your sweet kids, and now God has given you a NEW adventure and purpose....as your grandkids watch you and learn from you, God is using you in their little lives as an example of what it means to live for Him. Age has nothing to do with it. Thnk of Abraham....he wasn't exactly a spring chicken, and God used him for MIGHTY things!!!!
    Your faith and strength as a woman has encouraged me MANY times as I've followed and prayed for your family for all you went through with Tiffany. As a mom, I can't even IMAGINE the things you felt in your heart....and yet, you were there, with faith in our great and mighty Savior.
    I think you're doing JUST fine, sweet Dee :) God is still using you in AWESOME ways :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. DeeSeptember 8, 2011 at 10:30 PM

    Thanks Emily and Candice you both have encouraged me. I just did read your post and thank God for the two of you. It is a lie of satan that as you get older you have no purpose yet I know in Timothy that the Older women are to instruct the younger.
    that is what I want to do. I want to be an encourager to you young mother's and wives and I pray that I can be used that way.

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